Zionist conspiracy to wreck Labour Conference 

Marc Cohen argues the Labour Party's decision to exclude G4S from handling this year's party conference security is symptomatic of its broader contempt for Israel.

The lunatics really are running the asylum. So consumed by irrational and infantile hatred for Israel, the powers that be at the Labour Party have recklessly risked the safety of thousands of members at their upcoming Conference all because they don't like that G4S – which has run security at Labour Conference for 20 years – operates in Israel.

Now, to add to the farce worthy of a Carry On script, Labour has done a U-turn the size of Spaghetti Junction, bitten the bullet (so to speak) and asked G4S to come back after all. I am sure everyone at G4S took great pleasure in telling them to get stuffed.

So, it seems Labour's security will be run by Dianne Abbot and a bunch of crusties from Momentum who can shoo away terrorists with rolled up copies of The Guardian.

The hilarity of the situation notwithstanding, as well as the large dose of schadenfreude that is almost impossible not to savour, there is a serious point here: Labour is so blinded by baseless hatred of Israel that it cannot see the wood for the trees and has got itself into this almighty mess.

What exactly was G4S' big crime that lead to such opprobrium from the Corbynistas? They run security in Israeli prisons. How awful, the weasels. How dare the evil State of Israel have prisons! Its criminals should all be allowed to roam free. Every other country in the world, according to Jezza and his Trotskyist chums, is allowed to have prisons, but not Israel.

Wait, there is more. Who did Labour want to handle its security? A company called Showsec. A company that will not allow its employees to be unionised. In a clear sign of the moral and intellectual bankruptcy enveloping Corbyn and his commie cronies, it seems they would rather have a security contractor run their operation who goes against the very core of what Labour is supposed to stand for, rather than let someone who operates in the evil death star galaxy known as Israel.

How mad is that? Risk the security of your members, compromise ideals around union membership, put your whole political agenda in jeopardy by potentially scrapping Conference, all because of some warped, obsessive hatred of Israel.

Someone call the men in white coats…