Give Meghan and Harry the benefit of the doubt
Reflecting on his experiences with the royal family and indeed, his own family, Keith Hartrick calls for kindness and consideration in the latest Sussex saga.
None of us can know what it is like to be royal and the focus of attention. In Monday's explosive interview, we learnt that Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan, felt enormous pressure from the press, both before and after their marriage. We can never know what went on behind closed doors or within the confines of the family, but we can only wish them well in their new lives.
Through a charity I was involved with, I had the opportunity to go to an event at Buckingham Palace. There were 1200 people there and from the moment the Queen arrived, all eyes were upon her. For around two hours the Queen was being constantly watched by those in attendance, including by me. In this moment, I understood how the Queen and royal family must feel, constantly under the relentless scrutiny of both the public, the UK and international media. Their lives are scrutinised in minute detail. Yet for the most part, despite various ups and downs within the family, they deal with it gracefully and patiently.
Throughout her long reign the Queen has had to deal with a number of family problems. No one knows how life will work out for Prince Harry, Meghan and their family. But we can all hope that at some future date, there will be a reconciliation with his brother, our future King. Perhaps only Prince Harry can relate to and understand the pressures that Prince William and his family are also under every day.
Being a member of the royal family brings immense privileges and what appears to the outside world to be a very pleasant life. But the scrutiny they are under constantly also brings pressures we cannot understand.
It seems those pressures were too much for Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan. We now know they felt the pressures both externally from the press and social media, and internally where they felt unsupported. Only those people directly involved can know the rights and wrongs of the situation. While there is a temptation to take sides, for or against them, it may be better to let some time pass before judging who is right or wrong.
Many of us may have grown up in dysfunctional families, but our ups and downs are not reported in the media or on television. I lost my father at seven years old, not because he died but because my parents divorced, and he took no further interest in us. He never took me or my younger brother out for a day, he just disappeared from our lives. Yet, we knew, of course, that he was out there somewhere.
It is hurtful to feel your father has no interest in you. Perhaps Prince Harry felt that at times when his father was busy working and he was left in the care of a nanny. I know from experience how deep the hurt can go and how many years it takes to grow out of it. Whether Meghan is a good or bad influence only time will tell, but they seem to be happy at present, enjoying time with their son and looking forward to the birth of their daughter.
Yes, they live in an expensive house in a nice, sunny part of the world but why should we begrudge them that? Providing that interview is the end of their personal journey of hurt. It may have done some good for them.
As to the future of royalty here in the UK, will it be a major long-term problem?
The minority of people who want to abolish the monarchy will have delighted in the embarrassment caused. But the majority of people will still be supportive of what the royal family do. The thousands of engagements they carry out each year here in the UK, and the excellent role they play as Ambassadors for the country abroad.
We simply cannot know the pressures they all experience and handle in their different ways. So, let's give them all the benefit of the doubt, not rush to judgement and hope that over time relationships will heal.
